Happy Opposite Day!

I discovered this bad boy, the Ford F-650 XUV Conversion Truck by the Alton Truck Company, from the consumer blog Uncrate. Big enough to be a Metro bus, but built for you and maybe your high-class prostitute date, this truck represents the pinnacle of personal private transportation. Don’t be fooled by the rugged exterior, inside is a world of class and comfort with hardwood floors, wi-fi, and 42-inch plasma television. At only $200,000, this one-of-a-kind truck is sure to fit into your budget.

Further research led me to the anti-MetroRiderLA… Jalopnik! Where MetroRiderLA tries to create a transit oriented culture, Jalopnik is proudly “obsessed with the cult of cars”. MetroRiderLA often has articles poking fun at bad auto drivers, and Jalopnik is not above making fun of stupid bus drivers. Jalopnik is part of the Gawker Media blog empire, which means it probably gets 5 billion more readers than MetroRiderLA, further cementing our automotive future.

Last but not least on this auto-centric opposite day, I want to tell you about a guilty pleasure I’ve been enjoying… well that is until my XBOX 360 died on me for the third time. Burnout Paradise (XBOX 360, Playstation 3) is probably the best racing video game I’ve ever played. I confess, I love racing video games. How does this square with my hatred of driving? Well, racing video games, especially ones like Burnout Paradise, are fun… driving in reality is not. Burnout Paradise gives you a complete virtual city (Paradise City) to drive through at top speed without having to worry about death, gas prices, or traffic. There is traffic in Burnout Paradise, but you get extra points for pushing other cars off the road. In a funny nod to the pervasiveness of car culture, the in-game announcer makes it known that all trains were removed from Paradise City in order to create more room for stunt driving. If you have to drive, this game is the only way to go.

Disclaimer: I have joined Amazon.com’s affiliate program, so the above links to the Xbox and Playstation versions of Burnout Paradise will earn me a small percentage of the sale if you end up purchasing them from the links.