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ChineseMy New Beef With Sunflower Seeds
Photo courtesy of flickrich via Flickr.
Growing up I had a love/hate relationship with sunflower seeds. I’ve always been a fan of baseball both playing and watching so from my earliest of days I was lathering up my glove with leather softener, putting a baseball in it, wrapping a bungee cord around it and setting it by the fire. It was a seasonal ritual. Another ritual of baseball was the bags upon bags of sunflower seeds that our high school team got for free for whatever reason. I think it was to thwart the John Kruk style chew wads that were ending up all over the field and dug out.
Even though I didn’t chew I still made sure to get my bag allotment each Monday at practice and work on my sunflower eating technique. Unfortunately I found the whole process so excruciatingly time consuming to get one stupid seed out, a quarter of the way through my efforts I would always chomp and chew with reckless abandon then spit the whole mess out at once.
Now the sunflower seed has taken on a whole new meaning in my life outside of TPX bats and brick dust. It seems that sunflower seeds are becoming the rage of public transit. Just yesterday I sat next to a three-square foot piece of real estate covered in sunflower seed shells like it was the floor of a dugout. After first being impressed by the offender’s tireless attention to each seed, the anti-thesis of my style of eating, I got annoyed.
What’s more, a friend and fellow transit rider has talked several times about riding on the red line while some guy’s just eating and spitting sunflower seeds all over the seat and floor. I was blown away then as I was yesterday and I am now just thinking about the gall and complete disregard for not just the bus, but everything. I mean what kind of person does this? I picture them shitting on counter tops at Christmas parties or pushing toddlers into traffic because it takes a special type of asshole to do this. Leaving newspapers is one thing but sunflower seeds doesn’t even sound true. Like… wait, what? Sunflower seeds all over the back of the bus?
Now I don’t know what to make of sunflower seeds. They had been successfully left in my past with mixed feelings though edging towards positive because of nostalgia, but now they’re back as if by conspiracy. I can only say that if we MetroRiders ever want to board with our morning coffees in tow the sunflower offenders will have to go first. So if you happen to witness such nonsense tell the asshole to stop or at least give them a mocking ass look. For Shame!
Discussion
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remember the scene in Ace Ventura… “would you like an ashtray?” “No thanks, disgusting habit.” [smears sunflower shells on the desk]
Lolz. Oh man, totally on point. And that’s exactly how I used to eat those things. So I guess I have to give thanks that at least the seeds and shells weren’t completely processed on the seat and floor.
i rarely eat sunflower seeds these days. but, when i do i eat them in a different style than in years past. i eat the who thing - shell and all. at first it seemed odd, but i’ve grown to like it that way. i just got tired of all the work in getting the seed out of the shell. pistachios are another story.
as far as hating on seeds cuz people spit them out on the bus, yeah that’s annoying. but what can you do? people are assholes everywhere, not just in their cars.
cochon - right on! you are enjoying a serious amount of fiber that would normally go to waste. I’m sure your bowels are regular as the mayan calendar.
as for pistachios, here’s a factoid. About 5 years ago an Italian coffin maker petitioned the catholic church to allow coffins to be made of recycled pistachio shells. Normally strict Roman Catholic doctrine forbids coffins made of anything but hardwood. The church heard his case and accepted pistachio coffins into the roman catholic doctrine.
yay!
thanks for the info, nippz. very interesting. to be buried in a pistachio coffin would be heaven.
[...] on this one. Fact of the matter is, people bring it on anyways (as evidenced by the ample amount of sunflower seeds, spilled soda, and burger wrappers one comes across), so why bother. Plus, trying to regulate [...]