MetroRiderLA Tips To Ride Pt. 1

[tags] metro tips, metro, tips, helpful hints [/tags]

Credit So Cal Metro via Flikr

There are hundreds of different things that can make or break a good metro experience, most out of the riders’ control, but others perfectly fixable. That is to say, different variables everyday can have adverse effects on your ride and with a few tried and true practices and hints those variables can be easily forgotten. For example: many times bus drivers will feel they must make a glacier of the desert and try to freeze out the bus. If you’re not prepared your bus ride can be a terrible experience and you’ll wake up with a stuffy nose the next morning. This is a common thing so most all MetroRiders are aware of this. Which means they also know that it’s easily remedied by simply bringing a zip up hoody or jacket or sweatshirt whenever you ride. No problem. But what about that back door of those articulated busses? What about those crazies a seat over? Read on for these and others and please add as many as you can think of for MetroRiders are a lot like Marines, we have to look out for each other.

- To follow up with the first hint, bringing a jacket, always bring a book bag of some sort to carry said jacket in. Then if you don’t need it it’s easily stow able and even better, can be used as a pillow. This is a strategy I very often use, especially for those really early commutes, or equally appropriate, really late commutes. This book bag is probably the most important accessory a MetroRider could have for with a book bag comes the wealth of distraction. Books, Ipods, that Discman for your Spanish cds, Metro timetables, and many other things to keep your mind off the guy on the phone next to you talking about the weight of his cats. Finally, if you can’t or don’t want or are tired of having your book bag on your lap and want to place it on the floor, be sure to check for gum. And liquid, annnnnnnny liquid.

- To go along with Fred Camino’s post a week ago, bring a canvas bag for groceries. He had many choices and I recommend the Ikea big blue bag. This is perfect for all your shopping needs and easily fits in your book bag. This is also extremely useful in padding your knees. For anybody whose over 5′9″, maybe less, you know that your knees are at the mercy of the cold metal seat ahead of you and therefore the potholed pavement below. This can be painful and annoying so a great way to remedy this is to use the canvas bag to act as a thin but very effective cushion between your poor knees, (you crazy giant!) and the seat. Fold it accordingly and enjoy bruise free knees from here on out.

- Along with some of the above items I also always carry extra timetables in my book bag. Which means I also suggest picking up some varying timetables when they’re actually on your bus. Now I’m not saying be the maniac who takes them all just for the hell of it, but one of each or one of this one and that one. Personally I like seeing the maps even if its not a line I ever ride, but more appropriately, if it IS a line you ride, having a handy timetable, even if not always reliable, is a good reference. Also, they’re good for when you’re asked by some out-of-towners where and what and when about certain bus lines you might be riding on or waiting for. The other day two Japanese tourists were confused about the 217 and even with my extremely non-existent knowledge of the Japanese language I was able to help. Just pulled out the timetable I had and gave it to them. Like I said, MetroRiders have to look out for their own. Plus we don’t want foreign tourists to go back to their most definitely superior transit city with more fuel to add to the inevitable shit talking fire. And be sure to throw out all those old maps. As far as I know they’re updated every six months or so, so anything you’ve had for over a year I’ve noticed can skew any bus you might be timing for. This also goes with your Metro pdfs. After six or so months, June and December, delete your old timetables from your computer and download the new one. The changes might be minor but if I’m going to be talking crap on Metro for never being on time I want to make sure I’m right.

- What do you do if you’re caught next to an outspoken religious/political/business person? Now this can be tricky, though only tricky if you could careless about acting nice. If you’re of the nihilist school when it comes to these peoples’ feelings then more power to you and this hint is unnecessary for you’ll do what u need/want to do. Sadly on many occasions I can’t muster that abstract not giving a fuk attitude and devise other ways to get out of the situation depending on the intensity of the preacher. What I do a lot of times, though I’m somewhat insane when it comes to weird mind and social anxieties, I’ll get up as if the upcoming stop is mine. Ill smile to the person and move on over to the door. Most of the time they won’t even notice for its not you that matters in this “conversation” just somebody so it doesn’t seem like they’re crazy even though their talking about how saved they are or how bad capitalism is for ten minutes without a breath. U getting up won’t be a big deal and when you stand at the door you must then act as if you’ve all of a sudden realized that you were wrong and that it’s not actually your stop. Then stand there for a moment looking forward through the front and side windows as if to say, “wait, this isn’t my stop… what street is this? Ohhhh it’s this street, I thought it was that street. Hmmm. Well mine should be coming soon… but since this seat up here is open I guess I might as well plop down for my seat is sadly already taken (though never turning to check).” Sometimes u might even have to stand because all seats are in fact taken but at least your not next to that hot breath spewing whatever it is they feel you MUST know! Or you could just not be a decisive and get a seat somewhere else without all this useless acting I’ve suggested, like I said, I’m a lunatic with some social situations. Hence my envy for those I described above who just get up and move, the obvious and most acceptable solution.

- Get a monthly pass.

- Exit through the back door.

I’ll be posting part 2 of MetroRiderLA’s tips to live by later today but until then follow these guidlines and ride well. Also, add as many more as you can think of for there’s never enough ways to make the Metro experience a better one.