What’s that Rattling? A Conspiracy!

Oh that’s just the windows… or the seats or the, well just about everything really. Have you ridden in a bus that tops twenty-five miles an hour as of late? Though not likely a normal thing, if ever, the past couple weeks with the winter hiatus of most production work and therefore mass exodus of thousands from Los Angeles streets, travel time during rush hour is down over a 25%, and at other times even more! However, is faster really better?

Though the glorious two to three weeks that the roads empty and you get to work in what seems like no time at all, there is one downer. Noise. Ultimate racket. Head banging shake. For with the roads opening up before you like that of Moses’ Red, comes the speed of all them chariots a running, and when Metro’s locals start a running, they make about as much noise as all those chariots combined. So which is worse? Saving fifteen minutes on your ride to work and dealing with what must be the bus’ floor dropping out and wheels falling off, or going no faster and only feel like the bus is about to fall apart half the time.

Of course there’s always that idea that the bus is falling apart anyway isn’t there? It’s always right there in front of us. Doors don’t seem to open. Stop cords don’t seem to work. The scrolling digi red dots don’t seem to say anything or are dark all together. But as bus riders we’re able to ignore all this. It’s apart of the ride. “Well I guess we’ll all just hope he/she knows which stop I need,” we think to ourselves while trying our best to block out the banality that is TransitTV. But what if it’s no longer just the bus’ functions that seem to be breaking down, but the structural integrity itself. You never notice such things when you’re only going seven, ten, and even FIFTEEN miles an hour, but once the bus creeps passed twenty-five or so, every crack in the road and dip in the street feels like the end is near and meteors of fire are finally starting to fall. Brimstone and the like, crashing and cursing through the streets. Us passengers helpless to the will of the manufacturers and hoping against hope that the windows won’t shatter on the next impact.

But lets not forget those precious fifteen minutes for fifteen minutes in LA traffic, even on a bus and not sitting in a car wanting to blow your brains out, is still sitting in LA traffic. So any time less is very precious. I notice when my trip is five minutes less, we all do. However, when those fifteen minutes are filled with such obscene racket I have to question if it’s worth it. Though slow, at least I can read. At least I can think, sleep or stare.

And perhaps I’ve stumbled upon something even bigger. Perhaps busses are made as such so that we the passenger start thinking so absurdly. I just wrote briefly that maybe fifteen minutes isn’t all that important. Implying that the slow traffic is good! So perhaps this is Metro’s goal. A giant conspiracy? “Keep ‘em loud and they’ll never want to speed!” say’s an encrypted email.

Well I’ve had it. I shall promote no such conspiracy. Sorry Metro, I don’t know how long you’ve been doing this to your passengers, to your fellow citizens, but I stand here and now to nip it in the butt. MetroRider’s unite and don’t support this post of longer but less loud busses. Discount even the thought. I say ride as fast as you can and as loud as you can damn it! Because in the end, fifteen or five, every minute matters, and we’ll take them with every opportunity we can get. Who cares that if there’s an earthquake and we don’t know it, at least I’ll get to work ten minutes earlier to check the bookmarked blogs and home five minutes earlier to catch a glimpse of Doctor Phil’s shinning horseshoe!